Impostor syndrome is a psychological pattern in which people doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent, often internalized fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved.
Can imposter syndrome be applied to motherhood? Sometimes I stare at the kids faces and wonder how I got to be here. I sometimes lie in bed and wonder how I managed to leave the hospital with 4 humans, I sometimes expect a knock at the door and some one with a clipboard telling me they got it wrong and I wasn’t suppose to take them home, like I stole a sweet from Tesco and got caught.
Because, as sad as it might sound to some, my kids are my biggest accomplishment. I grew and birthed 4 humans, 2 at once in one case. Nothing I’ve ever done, or ever will, could ever beat it. I created this little tiny bit of the future and love that I can preserve the past, all at the same time. I never realised just how much I loved these Day in the Life posts until I started to do them regularly, until I started looking for tiny moments that I would want to remember, the everydayness of the most mundane days of motherhood. School runs, spilt cereal, walking to the shop for a lollipop just to tire them out for bedtime. Muddy faces, untied shoe laces and helping with the gardening even though they aren’t really helping. I always try and keep these posts as honest and real as I can, without being too boring. I never know how my life comes across to others and the imposter syndrome kicks in again…
The days that we feel like we are failing at parenthood will most likely be their favourite and the ones that will stick out for them. The picnic dinners when you don’t have the strength to cook, disney movies from a fort when you just need a quiet moment and the biggest reading the little ones their bedtime story, so you can sob at the door as you listen.
So, as mundane as each parenting day seems, they are all so different and theres always a tiny moment that you’ll forget when you look back. Taking a slow walk to the local corner shop and back has become one of my most favourite things to do with the twins. It gets them a little time together with me while the rest are at home and they get a sneaky little treat too. We chat about their day and the most favourite thing they’ve done that week. Which is usually going for a treat!
Lucy’s finally big enough for our garden, she’s out there first thing in the morning and is usually the last one in the door at night, although she hasn’t mastered the art of keeping the bubble mixture in the pot yet, but the girl can blow a bubble better than the rest!
Ruby’s started writing stories and funny little comics, she really gets humour and is using it so well. She’s become fluent in sarcasm and sass lately, while Emily is trying to master her name, drawing E’s on every scrap of paper that she finds. She wanders around with a notebook and draws pictures while Ruby is at school. Once Ruby gets home, Emily translates her drawings and Ruby matches them with words. They have this amazing little bond and already have visions of the make up swapping and fighting over tweezers.
As always, I get to be part of an amazing group of ladies. This months post is with Jess – Nora & Co & And Kaye – Hello Archie both are wildly talented and should be checked out. Their instagrams are STUNNING! Thank you for always being inspiring ladies 🙂